If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
