You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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