Kiss
Puke
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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