I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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