It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
