Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
