You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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