He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
