What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
