What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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