this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
