super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
