He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
