remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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