look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
