I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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