Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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