hotel room ftw
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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