You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it's like heaven, but drunker
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
