And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
