Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
