Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
