Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
