Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
