kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
