I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
