tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
