I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
