Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
