I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
