i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
