Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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