I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
