Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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