I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
