hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Never joke about your clitoris.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
