he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
