I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
