I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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