coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
