Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
