ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You pole danced in your parka.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
