even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
