Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
