The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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