even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
