guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
how drunk are you?
Several
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
