well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
