ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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