there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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