Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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